Last week in Ocean City was a beautiful week. It was Family Week for all of us here on mission. That meant some beautiful lessons about comparison, support, and encouragement were learned. While that all sounds fun and dandy, don't be fooled. It was hard. It was painful. Let me give you a glimpse into my sin-filled perspective of this and how it was changed.
Coming to this mission, I met some of the most incredible people I've ever met. Everyone on this mission is here because of their genuine love and commitment to God. We came to be trained as leaders and change this world for God. Inevitably however, that means there is a lot of subtle comparison going on. I can't speak for everyone, but I know that I subconsciously wanted to be the "Best Christian" - whatever that meant. I didn't realize how hard I was pushing myself to be the best at everything and perform for God. I woke up early to spend time with God, talked about my testimony at work, shared my faith with strangers, journaled, tried to become best friends with everyone, and learned how to help people. While all of these are worthy and God-glorifying things, I realized I was comparing how much I was doing with how much other people were doing. It caused stress and exhaustion and isolation.
Once I became aware of this desire of mine to be the best, I broke down. How could I take even the purest things and twist them with my sin? Sin hasn't tainted a part of us. It runs through our whole body and overflows into every single aspect of our life. Bringing this sin into the light was depressing. But realizing it is cancelled sin in the eyes of our Lord made me bow down in thankfulness. Romans 5:2b says "We rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." I learned to rejoice in the fact that I can see God's glory abound from this. Romans 6:6 says "We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin." I have freedom from these feelings of comparison and self-righteousness.
The week ended with every student being assigned a role to take over when the staff leave on July 7th. There was a lot of potential for comparison and bitterness to see how the roles were assigned. But we have freedom to think of ourselves less. God gave the perfect opportunity to rejoice with each student in their individual role. I've been able to see how well each is performed and how I couldn't do their role. I can't be strong in every area. I've gotten to see where my strengths do and don't lie and it is okay. I was made perfect by God. Why do I need to compare and try to be the best at everything?
Since learning this freedom of self-forgetfulness, God has changed my hard heart. Putting God and others first as commanded is truly the most freeing thing. I guess that's why God listed them as the greatest commandments.. I've found so much joy in encouraging and supporting others. Together we are the body. That's why this blog has the strange title of Body Image. My image of the Body of Christ was changed when I stopped thinking about myself. I pray you can experience this yourself.
Kels - Faithful Follower
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